Tuesday, June 29, 2004

Review of The No-Carb Kitchen Gourmet Cheese Crackers

I LOVE THESE!

I tried the Onion Poppy flavor of the No-Carb Kitchen TM Gourmet Cheese Crackers. Like the Just the Cheese crackers, they are made with baked cheese.However, these taste much much better.

These crackers have <1g of carb, 9g of protein, and 9g of fat (saturated fat of 3g). One box was $5.99 at TLC foods. There are only 15 crackers in here, so these are extremely expensive (about 40 cents per cracker...) That said, you can't eat very many of them either (remember, these are cheese...)

They don't list prices on the Web page, but I did call the 800 number and got the voice mail for Barry Novick. We'll see if he calls me back.

Chip's Chips Snackers review

These are AWESOME! By far most natural tasting "low carb" snack cracker I've tried. I bought the Sour Cream & Onion flavor of these "crackers." A 1 oz bag has 2g of carb, 16g of protein, and 6g of fat (2g saturated fat). They are made with a combination of wheat and soy protein.

Information at http://www.betafoods.com/

Price is $11.94 for 6 bags. Shipping is $5.50 for one box, $6.50 for 2 boxes, and $7.50 for 4 boxes. So, for 6, the price would be $17.44, or $2.91 per bag. For 12, the price would be $30.38, or $2.53 per bag. For 24, the price would be $55.26, or $2.30. I paid $2.09 at TLC Foods in Kirkland, so it appears to be a better deal just to buy them locally!

Just the Cheese...

This is a quick review of Just the Cheese TM Crunchy Baked Natural Cheese Snack. I tried the Nacho Cheese flavor.

Basically, it's crumbed natural cheese that is then baked and seasoned. It's 1 gram of carbohydrate per serving, 13 grams of fat (7 grams saturated fat), and 10 grams of protein. Not bad as a diabetic snack although still a bit high in fat...

Overall, the taste is OK. I wouldn't highly recommend this flavor, but it's certainly not gross. It also appears somewhat more natural than a lot of snacks targeted at low carbers...

More information - http://www.specialcheese.com/bakedch.htm

I paid $3.49, plus tax for these at TLC Foods in Kirkland. The cost for a case of 12 on the Web site is $32.40, plus $7 for shipping (only $1.25 per case for shipping thereafter.) So, in quantity 12, for $39.40, it's $3.28 per unit. In quantity 24, for $73.05, it's $3.04 per unit. So, there is some benefit in buying these mail order...

Monday, June 28, 2004

Spoke to financial adviser today...

He sent me a nice e-mail back before calling me today...

Thanks for the update on you and the family. You are smart in making a career change while you are young. I see too many people who make good money and are not happy with their jobs/career path. Look around and see what else is out there. Find some thing that you enjoy doing. People that have a passion for what they are doing will eventually do well financially because they have that passion and will get better and better at what they enjoy doing.

My final advice, being an old fart, is to decide where you want to live and then move there. Life is too short not to enjoy a good lifestyle. You are talented and can find a new job/career after you decide where you want to raise your family.


In our conversation, he also reaffirmed his support of my decision and expressed empathy for the pressures that I must face from friends, in-laws, and families who often don't understand these motivations.

He also slipped back into character and let me know that being flexible is actually very desirable because the US has a very dynamic economy that creates jobs in new areas; not as stagnant as Europe, for example.

Selling books at Half Price Books

OK, so it turns out that Amazon was a bust for certain types of books. The former "best sellers" go for about $0.01 from professional used booksellers, so amateurs like me who have to pay $0.99 for a listing can't compete.

I was able to get rid of 5 books at Half Price Books in Crossroads. For five books, I got $1.50. (Probably not even worth the mileage at $0.375 per mile to get there...) The lesson here is that the global marketplace (Amazon) works to your advantage when you're trying to sell weird stuff; the local marketplace seems to be better when trying to get rid of very common items.




I'm not sure why I'm noting this, but somehow I have the gut feeling that there is some learning experience to come from my desire to sell my stuff.

Other notes:

  • There was no activity on my Amazon.com book listings Sunday or today. I wonder when the next one will "pop."
  • I got two bids on the Macintosh CD-ROM drive on eBay after no activity on Saturday or Sunday. This stuff seems to actually be working...

TLC foods - not quite a fit with my journey

There was an interesting article about low carb food stores in the Seattle Times on October 15, 2003. Here's the URL (for Seattle Times members) -

http://archives.seattletimes.nwsource.com/web/

In any case, it turns out that one of the stores mentioned (TLC Foods - "Totally Low Carb") has a franchise located in Kirkland, and I went by today.

The franchise owner also owns two Curves franchises and does a decent amount of cross-promotion. The low-carb diets recommended by the Curves diets can be supplied through his TLC Foods store.

I walked away spending about $40 on products that included nitrite free beef jerky, baked cheese that comes in a cracker form factor, soy nuts, a soy flour/pesto "pizza", and some awesome soy crackers. There were also some cleverly packaged Atkins supplements that included essential fatty acids and even cleansing products. Good competition for GNC. I could see spending money on these at some point...

That said, most of the products were just extremely processed foods, almost all of which contained sugar alcohols and artificial sweeteners. The big thing they were pushing at the store was Erythritol. It is a substance that I hadn't heard of before, but they have lots of products that include it. (I have tried the Maltitol based products for diabetics, and all I can say is that they cause the worst and smelliest flatulence "events" known to mankind.)

Some gaps I saw at this store.

  • Limitations of hourly workers. The two other customers that were in the store were looking as much for advice as for products. One overweight gentleman was surprised to find out that he couldn't eat nuts during the Atkins induction phase, even though that is clearly spelled out in the Atkins book. I think there are limitations to the kinds of advice that you can get from the type of people willing to work an hourly wage in a store. In addition, one of the store workers was clearly overweight. You have to ask how much success this person had herself with Atkins...

  • Somewhat obtuse food philosophy. The very Atkins revolution was one that really explained that we are eating things that our body wasn't designed to eat - the volume of agricultural products (carbs) available to us is higher than it ever was before, and the refinery processes provide those carbs at a much higher density than before. Essentially, the whole basis of the low carb movement is one that calls for us to return to the whole foods that our bodies were designed to eat; yet the low carb stores sell chemically processed and artificially sweetened foods. Go figure. We're just going to replace the diabetes and obesity epidemic with cancer or some other horrific disease...

  • Convenience. Right now, this remains a specialized enough business where you have to drive so far to get these foods. I went to the store during rush hour in the Seattle area on the night of a home Mariners game. It seems to me that at this phase of the market, an e-tailer might be a better option to reach the masses.



I have thought about getting into this business of providing products that support diabetics in their path to wellness. Clearly, the franchise opportunity presented by TLC Foods is not the way I want to pursue this.

Scary people at digital kiosk franchise...

One of the things I have been looking into is a way to supplement income by taking advantage of the digital photo revolution. There's a company (National Image Distributors - http://www.nidphoto.com) that has a franchise model for distributing photo kiosks. The concept is that you can put in a CD-ROM or digital photo media into a machine, put in a credit card, and have dye sublimation prints (photo process, not ink process) spit out the other end.

Today, I had a conversation with the "regional director" (bogus because from what I can tell there is only one "region - all of the US." He was a scary guy with a New York accent. He used to work in the indepedent ATM kiosk business.

Here's their basic spiel.

$25K buy-in price for one machine
Assume 41 uses per day with average selling price of $3 per transaction
$3690 per month gross
$700 per month cost of fees to sites, supplies, DSL line, etc.
$35K per year income per machine
Six figure income for five machine investment.

Assume 10% of gross goes to sites; they negotiate with sites for you if you want
The claim is they make ongoing money off selling you the supplies
They charge 15 cents for supplies for a single 4x6 print

Cost to consumers, depending on volume is 49 cents to 79 cents per print. In addition to prints, the machine can cut CD's and can also sell items (T-shirts, etc.) over an Internet connection with the photos printed on them.

He provided a telephone reference who is actually compensated on the number of calls she returns. He was vague as to whether she was compensated on whether or not any sales came through her references; of course this would affect her objectivity. In addition, the reference was someone in South Florida (not far from their offices). For all I know, this could be a friend of the family or something.

The are no machines here on the West Coast. The company got started in March. They have sold 300 units, only 100-150 which are operating now. He would not give me the location of any of the operating machines where I might take a look.

I raised two objections for which the regional sales director had no adequate response. The first is that 41 transactions per day seemed very high as an assumption. He was not willing to provide any data to suggest that these numbers were actually attained by existing franchisees. The second is that 49 cents to 79 cents per print seems very high. After all, Target will do them in their one hour photo center here for 29 cents per print, and you don't have to operate a machine yourself...

These guys seem very scary. I will take a look at the package they send me tomorrow. I had to give them my FedEx number; they wouldn't even pay to send me any marketing materials.

Sunday, June 27, 2004

Digest of thoughts over the weekend...

These are some random thoughts that I had over the weekend...

Holding us back? My wife had questioned whether it was my own reservations that were keeping us from selling our house. While there are logical explanations both in our emptied living room and dining room (giving potential buyers the feeling of a divorce in the house...) as well as the price, there is still a noted lack of interest in our house...

My older daughter is still holding on to her prediction. It turns out that we heard from our old real estate agent that both the husband and wife of the couple that our older daughter predicted would buy our house like the house very much. They still haven't committed. Christina still believes they are the ones despite that their realtor hasn't made a move yet. We are now moving forward on Monday with a transition of our real estate agent...

Suprising "good feeling" about a potential opportunity in California. My wife surprisingly told me that she thought that a potential opportunity for me down in California working for a friend's husband sounded like the right thing for me to do. I wouldn't have predicted this given such a lack of desire on my part to raise my kids in California.

Realization. At one point, my wife and I had talked about my commuting between Seattle and the Bay Area either for study or for work. I now realize that I don't want to go down that path. Personally, I just believe the kids are more harmed by having a somewhat dysfunctional family life (dad always away and stressed) rather than by just being together in a less family-friendly place. I think if I do something in California, I'm going to prefer to move the family with me. The question remains - what do we do if we end up pursuing purchasing a lot on the street?

No lottery luck. My wife bought a lottery ticket for Friday's drawing and got no numbers correct. At that point, I told her to let me buy the lottery tickets. J I bought the ticket today for both Mega Millions and Lotto.
Here were the numbers:
Mega Millions 06/29/2004 - 06 10 24 37 43 (Mega Ball) 06
Lotto 06/30/2004 - A 06 17 22 35 37 40
Lotto 06/30/2004 - B 09 31 34 37 41 44
I am going to channel the numbers 06 and 37.

Poker misery. I probably had the cards to win at poker on Saturday night, but I spazzed early on. I had a straight (best possible hand on the turn) and chickened out on an "all-in". I was idiotic. In any case, I chose not to buy a lottery ticket Saturday night after the game because I was just being stupid that day...

eBay selling. Posted first eBay sales this weekend - an old IBM Thinkpad and an old Macintosh 2X CD-ROM drive. The Thinkpad has already gotten bids; the CD-ROM has not.

Saw apartments again. I took my wife and my kids to the apartment complex that I looked at on the Tuesday of week 2 of unemployment. The apartment we're looking at is still available, and my wife and kids seemed to like the place.

Shockingly low blood sugar. I took a blood sugar reading this evening. It was at 103 despite some general abuse I've been administering to my body including a huge frozen yogurt + brownie portion today at Zuppa's.

Friday, June 25, 2004

Summary of unemployment, week 3

Wow. Three weeks already. I think the biggest realization that I have in Week 3 is that I have not tied any "ego" to my career.

I specifically recall being at the three-year old birthday party for one of my coworker's kids, where I met a mom that had stopped working on the birth of her older daughter. I knew everything about what she used to do. She was a program manager for Exchange in the Product Support Services group at Microsoft. And, I even knew what background she had in knowledge management systems. She was planning to return to Microsoft soon and was stressed about finding a nanny. So, six years after she had left her job, she was thinking more about what she used to do than I am thinking about three weeks out of a job.

I think the biggest thing I'm doing right now is just "chilling." This is part of a reset process, and I'm not trying too hard to be "productive."

Here's what I did day-by-day to the best of my recollection:



Kind of uneventful, really.

I love Costco. Money market rates above 2% now...

Total non sequitur. In the process of "freeing" myself from obligations, I've been hoarding cash and not reinvesting it.

Through a Costco promotion, Capital One is offering 2.11% on Money Market accounts. Wow!

https://promotions.capitalone.com/RCE/costcot001/deposits005/Main?src=4016&LReqd=F&Dcode=deposits005

Anyway, I started the transfer process today to put my money there, and I've also left a message with my money manager to talk about revisiting our investment goals. No news here; just marking this date as a date where I'm starting to make progress on juggling some stuff.

Selling books on Amazon...

Part of my cleansing process has been the urge to get rid of the stuff I have that I don't use...

One experience that I had this week is that I ended up listing some of my old books on Amazon.com. In some ways, this is very much like preparing for a garage sale. In the end, you probably get as much value as donating things at market value to Goodwill or the Salvation Army and taking a tax writeoff. However, there is just a certain "sport" around getting cold, hard cash for people to take your junk.

Basically, the way that the Amazon marketplace works is that they let you list your books, and they take $0.99 plus 15% of your sales price as commission. There is no cost to list the books. This week, I sold 4 books, grossing $23.86. I've spent $7.46 in shipping on these four items, plus I've used some household packaging materials. Candidly, this was a lot of work so far for $16.40. The only saving grace is a 30-day free trial of Endicia, which is a postage service that lets me print "Media Mail" postage from my home PC. If I had to go to the post office for these four books, I would have given up already!

Once my free trial is done, I'm probably going to quit. The $9.95 per month that the service would normally cost would eat away at all my "earnings!"

My next stop is eBay...

Not a free spirit...

I think I've referred to the Michelangelo philosophy of sculpture before - that the image is already in the stone; you just have to take away what doesn't belong.

This has been my process; I know what my future is "not," and I'm whittling away those options. This particular entry is about a couple of realizations that I've made.


  • There are many ways to make money. While this is really obvious to some, I bought a book called Home-based Business for Dummies. What's funny is that when I thought of how people like my parents (well-educated engineering PhD's from Taiwan), there were three paths - work as a university professor (which sucked because you're poor), work for "The Man" (which sucks because you can laid off or forced into early retirement, or do startup companies. The latter was the path introduced to me as the path. Somehow, I had forgotten along the way that people could make money doing things (e.g., video editing, running a printing press franchise, distributing self-service photo kiosks) outside that world. This has now freed my mind a bit. Funny how that works

  • I am not a "free spirit." I always knew this. When I backpacked through Europe with a buddy of mine, I was ready to go home again after one month. He had planned to be out for two months and came home with me. On that trip, we met a number of "free spirits," and I now realize that I need roots. To some degree, by taking all of the fixed variables out of my life, I'm now recognizing that I'm actually getting more clouded, not less clouded as one would anticipate. What could be more liberating than having no job, no house, and no idea what lies next? Well, it's actually understanding oneself enough to realize that in many ways, there's a lot that isn't liberating about having too many options and to know to take the best from both worlds.

  • Any purpose for future education is going to be for credibility only. At one point, I'd toyed in the back of mind with getting a Ph.D. in psychology or a related field to build credibility. However, I've realized that the people I'd reach would probably respect more a degree from a school of business than a school of psychology. I also realized that I'm not a starving grad student type, and I'd do any further post-graduate study in a place that is either here or in a place that would allow me to take consulting gigs to work with local companies to keep myself alive. To me, that narrows it down to Stanford, Harvard, and UW - schools that have good psychology and graduate management programs, places that have familiarity (I've lived here, in the Bay Area, and in Boston), and places that would afford a better hybrid industry/academia life (ruling out places like New Haven, CT and Yale...)


I'll keep stripping things away as I understand them better.

The "street"...

Wednesday, I went for a morning run with a friend who lives up by Redmond. Because the thought of getting on the freeways around there during rush hour didn't appeal to me, I decided to take backroads home. I ended up taking a route home through my old neighborhood growing up which happens to have great schools.

Ironically, I drove through this back road that happened to have one house for sale and two lots for sale. Somehow, when I turned the corner on that street, I got a very good feeling... I was not necessarily "looking" for a house; I was hoping to execute a plan of being free. That said, as of late, I have been "going with the flow" not trying to fight too hard where the universe might be trying to take me.

To make sure I really had a good feeling about this street, I also drove into adjacent neighborhoods that also had "for sale" signs up, some of which were more expensive, some of which were comparable, and some of which were lower priced. In all of those other neighborhoods, I kept getting the feeling that these were "not right."

This "not right" feeling is familiar to me now, and I have two examples. First, there is a new, high-end development being built on the adjacent hill with the golf course. I just know that the real estate investment would be good, that our children wouldn't have to change schools, and we could live in a brand new home. That said, I've repeatedly jogged in that neighborhood and even driven through it, and as logical as a move there would be, I just don't have the right feeling. Second, I get the same feeling about an apartment complex we've been looking at to house ourselves temporarily. The complex is two years old, has nice three bedroom floor plans, a great cardio/weight room, a kids play area, and even available detached garages to store bikes and other kids stuff. Everything looks "good" there, but the "feeling" somehow is "not right."

Of the three opportunities on this street (the preowned home and the two lots), there's only one still in play for us:


  • We took a tour this afternoon of the preowned home. While the view is gorgeous and the main floor would be great for entertaining, my wife and I had some problems with the floor plan, the musty smell of the house, and the overall "feel."

  • We took a closer look at the lot two doors down from that preowned home. The problem with this lot is that it is in the ravine well-below street level. While the street level has a great view, a home build on this lot would look into its neighbor's roof.

  • The last opportunity on this street is potentially a very good one. It backs up into a park. The issue is that there is quite a bit of sloping on the lot, and it might require engineering. My wife's cousin works in construction, so we have agreed that we'll have him take a look.



Now, while I fully admit that my attraction to this street is more illogical and "gut feel" than anything else (especially given the uncertainty in my career situation), here are some assumptions I'm making.


  • Long term, I'd like to raise my kids in Seattle

  • If we are here in the long term, I don't want to be in our current school district. Moving into the school district where this home is situated would be a good option. (It is the same district my wife and I grew up in and has gotten even stronger since we left the area.



Let's see where this take us.

Still no word on my daughter's prediction...

I remain positive, but we still have heard nothing from our real estate agent.

The people interested in viewing our house again came by last night at 7pm. My wife told our real estate agent about the visit. We haven't heard anything yet.

My wife has correctly pointed out that at least this hasn't been shut down yet on their side, so no news may be good news! My daughter who made the prediction (she calls it a "guess") is also very excited to hear the good news...

Thursday, June 24, 2004

The correct way to calculate the probabilities...

So, my MIT friend I spoke with tonight coincidentally just provided some math tutoring help to a neighbor girl and was able to help me solve my probability problem analytically. I did this via brute force in my blog, but that's not elegant.

To get the answer, I need to know three things:


  • A - # of total possibilities
  • B - # possibilities w/ 2 right and 1 wrong answer)

  • C = # of possibilities w/ 3 right answers



The probability I was looking for was (B+C)/A

To get (A) the number of total possibilities, I needed to use a factorial function. In this case, I was choosing k things out of a set of n. (k=3 top answers, n=9 possible types. The total number of possibilities is:


   n!
--------
k!(n-k)!

or...

   9!
------- = 9 * 8 * 7 / 3 / 2 = 84
3! * 6!


(B) The number of answers involving two right answers is the probability of choosing 2 right answers from a set of 3 and choosing 1 wrong answer from a set of 6.

This would be:

   3!          6!
-------- * -------- = 3 * 6 = 18
2! * 1!    1! * 5!

Plus, if you add the one answer (C) where all three are correct, you get (B+C)/A = (18 + 1)/84 (which is the answer I got...)

Funny that this math stuff really works.

More resources on personality tests and "star performers"

My MIT friend also pointed me to some resources to research relative to personality tests. I am logging this here as a note to myself to look into this further.

He has a friend that used to work for DDI that is in this line of work. His friend is now at Avid Learner and has based much of his work on a CMU professor named Robert E. Kelley.

Evening primrose oil and eczema

I realized after speaking with a friend of mine from MIT this evening that I'd gotten behind on my blogging. The text between the horizontal lines is something I wrote on June 18th (and referred to in my blog). I just never bothered to submit it... Also, check out the text I added today based on his comments.





  1. Layman's overview

    http://www.pccnaturalmarkets.com/health/Concern/Eczema.htm

    Researchers have reported that people with eczema do not have the normal ability to process fatty acids, which can result in a deficiency of gamma-linolenic acid (GLA).7 GLA is found in evening primrose oil (EPO), borage oil, and black currant seed oil. Some,8 9 10 but not all,11 12 13 14 double-blind trials have shown that EPO is useful in the treatment of eczema. An analysis of nine trials reported that the effects for reduced itching were most striking.15 Much of the research uses 12 pills per day; each pill contains 500 mg of EPO, of which 45 mg is GLA. Smaller amounts have been shown to lack efficacy.


  2. Don't go for Borage Oil

    http://bmj.bmjjournals.com/cgi/eletters/327/7428/1358#43251

    This study appears to show that high doses of borage oil (BO) are not beneficial in atopic eczema. However this does not mean that gamma- linolenic acid (GLA), or evening primrose oil (EPO) are not beneficial.

    At Scotia Pharmaceuticals (which produced the eczema treatment Epogam, based on EPO) we produced both evening primrose and borage in large quantities. The reason why we used EPO rather than BO in our eczema product, in spite of its higher cost and lower GLA content, was because we found from internal studies that BO didn't work. (We used the BO for the extraction of GLA as a pure compound.)

    ...

    it is clear that it is unjustifiable to extrapolate results from one GLA-containing oil to another. Similarly, it is not justified to make statements about the efficacy of GLA unless a pure GLA preparation has been tested.

    The most that can be said from this study is that borage oil may not be a suitable treatment for atopic eczema.


  3. Many sources exist to buy this

    Example: Amazon.com





Eczema Postscript

The whole reason this came up again is that a friend of mine from MIT read this blog and mentioned that a coworker had tried the formula described in the link below. The results on their son Noah were dramatic, and they were noticable after one day of application. The solution was an expensive one, but Noah's eczema was so bad that it had to be treated either way. I will take a closer look.

http://www.childhoodeczema.org

As a side note, they also tried Elidel but found that while it reduced the itching, it didn't make the skin any better.

Wednesday, June 23, 2004

Lottery Tickets?

As someone with some quantitative capabilities, I certainly understand the expected values of playing the lottery. I've never been a fan of it.

That said, given my recent interest in psi phenomena, my interest has grown in this. Last Saturday, my wife told me that no one had one the Mega Millions and that the pot was over $120M. I went to the local Arco (with AM/PM mini-mart), and her van could take exactly $39 worth of gas. Given that I'd put two twenties into the cash dispenser (Arco doesn't take credit cards and charges a fee for ATM/debit card use), I used the extra $1 to buy a lottery ticket.

The normal routine my wife had picked was to buy the tickets right before the "drawing." Given that we were several days away from the drawing (which happened on Tuesday), buying a ticket was somewhat out of the ordinary. However, when I thought about it, if we were going to apply psi phenomena, we'd actually want to influence the drawing, not our selection. So, the best thing to do would be to buy the tickets early and concentrate on them. Quite honestly, my wife did this more than I did in the ensuing days.

We ended up matching two numbers (9 and 10), which is more than she'd ever matched before. We'll keep trying here. The intent is less the result (i.e., no unrealistic expectations of winning the mega millions) but rather to explore the psi phenomena. It has been postulated that people can even affect random number generators which are algorithmic in nature. Fascinating...

My daughter's home sale prediction

Yesterday, my daughter made a prediction that, if true, would be another demonstration of how the universe just ties everything together.

The elements to the story include a house on the market longer than expected, a transition of real estate agents, preying and meditation, further money losses, and the merits of positive mental attitude.

On The Market For Longer

Our real estate agent thought we had priced our house to move. She indicated that she had truthfully expected our home to sell in a couple of weeks. In fact, this has been the experience of a couple of our neighbors who had sold their homes on our street. Our house has been on the market now over 5 weeks. We're by no means in panic mode, as the average here is 7.5 weeks. However, there is concern in that home sales in our neighborhood tend to fall into a bimodal distribution - they either sell very quickly or they tend to hang on the market for six months or more... We wanted to make sure we didn't fall into the latter group.

Transition of agents

My concern was that our agent, having been one of the Northwest's top agents for many years, was no longer active in real estate and may have missed some of the more modern tricks of the trade. Always a professional, she offered to provide us a referral to a trusted colleague - which she did. We very much appreciated her professionalism throughout this process. Moreover, she is just a very good person.

Praying

That said, before turning it over, she gave herself another week. We met last week, and she indicated she'd make calls to new agents for us starting the following Monday. She was going to work her "magic," and she had confided in us that she used to send her husband out to pray on her homes that weren't selling. While she is very well-to-do, I'm sure the pride part of her didn't like the thought of not selling the home. While she may have previously taken her "eye off the ball" on her former spiritual routine, almost immediately after she started praying, we started having more visitors.

(The very logical type would argue that this may have been coincidental with the impending closure of the school year...)

Still, my wife and I have been meditating as well.

Further Money Losses

Yesterday, we had a second meeting with our new real estate agent (the one referred to us by our old real estate agent). At this meeting, the new agent recommended that we drop the listing price of our house and set the expectation that there'd be as much as a 3% delta between selling and asking prices. Combined with the staging that she recommended that we do, we're expecting to take a greater loss on our home than originally anticipated. The purpose of this meeting was to prepare the listing forms to facilitate a smooth transition from our old agent to our new agent.

While the projected selling price of our home is above our original purchase price, we put quite a bit of money into the house to do painting, carpets, floors, plumbing repairs, etc. Even if we get our asking price before the transition, we expect to lose money after real estate commissions...

The Last Chance

Prior to the transition from our old agent to our new agent, there was one more party scheduled to come by our house to view it. Because the transition to the new agent was not yet complete, both agents agreed that if this party ultimately purchased the home, it would be our old agent's deal.

They were scheduled to arrive at 5pm. Personally, I had a sinking suspicion that they weren't going to come. In fact, we went out to pick up some sandwiches for dinner, and after returning at 5:30pm, there was no card. I was prepared to just settle in and assume they weren't coming, but my wife (who has been very optimistic) recommended we eat the sandwiches at the park in case they were late. I agreed, but I honestly still believed that given the timing, any interested parties would simply start cutting the tour short rather than slip the schedules late into the evening.

After we finished eating at the park, we saw a realtor's vehicle out front. We then decided to return to the park to eat cookies (the women in my family ate cookies; the diabetic one (me) sat there longing for one...) We returned to home and they were still there. We then proceeded to take a drive around a neighboring community where we had previously looked at both homes and lots.

The Prediction

At that point, our older daughter said something kind of vague. At first, I thought what she meant was that she got the feeling that we should buy there(which is above our price range). However, when my wife asked for clarification, it was clear that what she was really saying was that she got the feeling that those people were going to buy our house.

I'm sure I've written here about how my wife and I have always said there's something "special" about this daughter, and immediately at that point, I said "well, if you believe that, then now I believe it, too." Sure enough, we got a call that night from our old realtor indicating that these people were interested and that she'd follow up with us in the morning. My wife relayed to our old real estate agent that my daughter had predicted this and asked our real estate agent to continue praying.

Early this morning, I went running with a former coworker and told him about this prediction. I only wish that I had logged this in the blog to time stamp it...

Later this morning, we received a call from our old real estate agent telling us that the wife is very interested but that her husband won't be available to see the property for another few days. As such, our old real estate agent asked us to contact the new real estate agent and delay the transition until Monday. We decided to go with it!

What Next

At this point, while I remain a bit "guarded", I have the feeling that this would be a great way for the story to unfold. Lighting the fire under our old real estate agent to get her and her husband to pray; a prediction from my daughter come true; and a lesson learned for me that I should have let my wife's positive energy rub off on me and not have been so pessimistic about someone showing up late. To me, this would just be more evidence (not that I necessarily need any more) to show how the universe is "linked."

A day of fun... Henry Moses Aquatic Center in Renton

OK, this blog entry is going to take on a different flavor. One of the elements about my "vision quest" and taking time off from work is that I wanted to just be able to hang with the family.

Yesterday, I took a break from the heavy reading or planning to join my wife and kids on a trip to the new pool - the Henry Moses Aquatic Center. Our kids loved it. The cost was $28 for the four of us (family price), and we could swim from 11:30am to 3:30pm. They also reopened the pool for another session at 4pm. There were water slides, an intertube floating track, a water toys area, a tide pool, and a lap pool. While they told us that they heat the pool to 84 degrees, it did seem warmer. Overall, it was a fun time.

They have an opportunity to do a better job on the concessions (nachos, pretzels, churros, hot dogs), and the front entry ticket booth could be a bit speedier. However, those were the only two criticisms I really had.

There were plenty of life guards, and I really did feel like the place was very peaceful despite the potential for a lot of havoc with so many kids in one place. Congratulations to our neighbors down in Renton for putting together a fun place that's easy to get to!




Contrast with Wild Waves the week before



Moreover, after a very disappointing day last week at Wild Waves and Enchanted Village in Federal Way, she was particularly happy with the Renton pool. There were several issues she had at Wild Waves:


  • Lack of staff. They staff with high school students, and they were short-handed before the local schools got off for summer vacation. The problem is that they still charged full price for tickets, and they didn't provide any disclosures or warnings that they were short-handed. Many of the ride operators had to slice their time between operating different rides, creating long lines that simply did not move

  • Lack of water heating. Even though kids don't normally get scared off by cold water, the water was simply too cold for our kids to even want to get in.

  • Rude / creepy staff. The merry-go-round operator made rude and inappropriate comments. While he apologized when confronted by another mother, it created an overall uncomfortable environment

  • Confusion over ticketing policies. This is a more complicated story. My wife thought she needed a ticket for a ride for our 3 year old daughter. After waiting in a long ticket line, the ticket booth operator incorrectly insisted despite my wife's initial hesitancy that the 3 year old could ride for free. Then after waiting through the ride line, the ride operator told my wife that the my daughter needed a ticket because she was over 36 inches tall and told her that she'd have to go through the lines again, even after she explained what happened. Ultimately, she was able to escalate the issue, but this type of confrontation wasn't what she expected at a kid's fun park.



My wife took a complaint form from guest relations, and at the recommendation of many of the Wild Waves employees she spoke to along the way, she will document her grievances. She indicated that management doesn't listen to them, but that management would listen to a customer and hopefully make their lives easier along the way. How sad...




Funny how the city can do a better job at customer service than the professionals who actually make a ton of money on this stuff...

Monday, June 21, 2004

Home sales and thinking through a consulting business...

Not much to report today.


  • Went through the exercises in Consulting for Dummies to map both preferences and skills. The consulting thing is still just a concept that I'm thinking about in order pursue a longer quest. The real question for me is going to be whether former colleagues in California will be willing to hire me remotely.

    The concept I want to go after is really helping companies evaluate new business plans or markets to go after where existing employees don't have the bandwidth to investigate new business ideas. Paying some cash out-of-pocket to get a "jump start" on this is great, and it's really what I've focused on for the last three years.

    The other concept that the investigation turned up was also helping startup companies "ramp down." Unfortunately, this is something I also have experience in... Perhaps I could be hired by VC's.

  • Spoke with a new real estate agent referred by our old one. I still hope that we can sell our house before switching agents, but we need to press on.






Definitely, today, I've noticed that I am losing some "edge." My wife commented to me today after forgetting to make a phone call that "gee, you can't believe that you used to live your life and hold a job, huh?" She was just kidding, but I'm starting to notice that perhaps that observation is true...

Sunday, June 20, 2004

The Free Soul Method

http://www.freesoul.net

I've started reading Pete Sanders' book titled You are Psychic. I think the concepts are interesting.

What also is motivating about this story is that Pete Sanders is an MIT graduate who ultimately wrote a book about spiritual growth. Pete really does seem to be a very gifted psychic who can see people "auras."

I want to spend some time reading this more closely. There are also local counselors who appear to be certified in doing this. Something to consider...




The Free Soul coordinator for Seattle also happens to be into Reiki. Another thing I'll need to research.

Recap of June 19th - bridge crossings, supplements, and pigging out

Back and forth


Yesterday was a somewhat busy day. We had to cross the bridge and back three times

  • for our kid's swimming classes. Part of the regular routine.

  • for the first birthday party of a former coworker. It was really just an
    excuse to throw a regular party for friends, but we had to leave early.

  • for my "going away" barbeque from my last job






Pitch, deja vu, and a dream


Here were three things I wanted to log from yesterday.

  • I had to give the "pitch" of what I'm doing to another dad at swimming. I thought I did an OK job of explaining what was going on with me without sounding too "out there." I have to continue to practice doing this, so that when I start broadening out the audience, I can sound cogent.

  • I had the real feeling of deja vu at the going away barbeque. Somehow, I felt a bit of temporary swelling at my ankles, and I looked down. At that point, I felt like I'd "seen" this situation on the balcony of my friend's condo with all these people. I'm not sure if I saw this in a dream or what, but it was a very strong feeling.

  • I had a dream with the host of that party. I was advising her on something related to her career, and she stopped to say quite emphatically that this was the most insightful advice that she had ever gotten.






Started supplement routine



I've now started to supplement my diet in the following ways:


  • Omega-3's in gel cap form- try to reduce insulin resistance

  • Multivitamin - got to get back on this

  • Garlic - cholesterol



This is in addition to some of the diet regimen I've added which includes:

  • Konnyaku - soluble fiber

  • Yogurt - rebuild bacteria in digestive system after fasting

  • Flax seeds, flax seed meal, and psyllium husks - fiber



I was trying American cheese for chromium, but honestly, the processed American cheese food was getting a bit sick...




Fell Off Diabetes Management



I'll also point out that I completely fell off the wagon with my diabetes management. Summary of violations:



  • frozen yogurt at Zuppa's

  • tortilla chips with hummus

  • few sips of Kir Royale

  • 2 Trader Joe's Coast Light Lagers (supposedly only 3.9g carbs each - not bad)

  • probably enough nuts to throw off carb counts

  • wasabe peas

  • ice cream for dessert

  • two homemade lemon bars (yum...)

  • Lots of food in general




Unfortunately, I was so tired last night that I didn't check by blood sugar, but I did check it this morning, and I was up at 140. (It has since dropped and held below 120...)

Friday, June 18, 2004

Tracks of study

While I know my goal is singular, there many aspects of it that I know need more investigation. Let me see if I can break them down:


  • Psychology - I want to get a better basis on how the mind works

  • Psychic and psi phenomena - I think there's something I'm tapping into, and I want to continue to explore

  • Alternative medicine - The body piece of the mind-body equation

  • Spiritual growth - This is better defining life process and purpose

  • Logistics of life - What am I going to do next and how are we going to live?



Also, I need to make time for:


  • Personal diabetes care

  • Exercise

  • Blogging


Summary of unemployment, week 2

Time to reflect. What did I do this week?


  • Proved that I could do a 6 day water-only fast and learned about the "healing crisis."

  • Began to map out the "tracks of study"

  • Got more comfortable with the nature of the journey



A bit of a breakdown of activities:

  • Monday - fasting. The biggest excitement I had that day was trying to figure out why backups failed on Sunday night from my new Windows Small Business Server installation. I just installed a USB 2.0 card and was trying to use an inexpensive hard drive for the backup. I found out the hard way that Microsoft has a known issue trying to do this, and I've got to work on getting the patch.

  • Tuesday - fasting. I visited a local Seattle area startup looking for angel funding. I was going along as a favor to a friend whose family is extremely wealthy. I also toured the local apartment complex and talked to the public storage people

  • Wednesday - broke fast. I applied the first two phases of Meguiar's clean/polish/wax products on my ten-year old BMW. My wife and I also met with our real estate agent to discuss next steps; we are currently getting very antsy about our house not selling

  • Thursday - Our real estate agent prayed, I meditated, and three people came to house. Grandma watched our kids so my wife and I could run errands together. I also saw my therapist. My late night project was to figure out why AOL bounced e-mail from my Exchange server. I figured out it was because I needed to relay my mail through Comcast's SMTP server

  • Friday - researched herbal medicine solutions for my younger daughter's eczema and took her to the park. Also I attended my daughter's kindergarten graduation.

Broken fast, day 2

The "All you can eat buffet" gene has kicked into high gear. I just have a desire to eat all of the time and have very little willpower now to resist temptation. My older daughter had a kindergarten graduation today, and I couldn't resist eating the cake and ice cream they served. (Normally, I'm very good about doing that...) Two hours after eating that cake, my blood sugar read at 199 - which is surprisingly low for me after such abuse.

Most of what I am eating contains either a lot of fiber of fat. Here are things I'm eating - yogurt (to rebuild my stomach bacteria) with flax seeds (ALA) and psyllium husks (fiber), American cheese (for chromium), konnyaku (soluble fiber), miso soup with lots of wakame, and Trader Joe's "triangles" (uncontrolled snacking). Occasionally, I've also snacked on smokehouse almonds and macamdia nuts. For vegetables, I've also been eating lettuce and green beans.




I haven't had the motivation to work out, and I haven't been motivated to finish stage 3 of the Meguiar's clean/polish/wax stage on my BMW. Two big time sinks for me have been figuring out why AOL is rejecting e-mails from my e-mail server (they reject connections from residential IP addresses) as well as doing some research on alternative medicine treatments that might help my daughter's eczema.

Thursday, June 17, 2004

My meditation session this morning...

This morning in my meditation session, I visualized a walkthrough of my house and explained our experiences and what the house provided. I answered any potential questions about our siding, our drainage, our neighbors, etc. I also asked that potential buyers ask their real estate agent to call our agent instead of just walking away. This is a great house, just not right for me in my growth right now. I asked that people to come. I repeated our city, our address, and our price range. I stated that our real estate agent is in town for Father's Day.

Inspired by my real estate agent's husband praying for our house to sell, my hope here was to write my house into the "collective unconscious" in hopes that those who are looking decide to come by and that once they show up, there will some familiarity to our house and an urge to ask questions as opposed to simply walking away. I will repeat this exercise daily...

Coincidence and hope... (House selling saga)

Our house has not sold yet.

Yesterday, we met with our real estate agent. We were unhappy about the lack of foot traffic to our house. She really thought that the house would sell in two weeks because it was priced to move.

That said, over a month has gone by, and still no offers. In fact, there's been only one request for a Form 17 (disclosure form). She said that starting Monday, she'd set us up with another realtor for an interview, and she said that she hoped that it would sell this weekend. She also said she'd send her husband by to pray. She said she's had a lot of success having him do that when her houses weren't selling.

Perhaps 20 minutes after we left, we got a call from a Coldwell Banker agent wanting to show our house. From one perspective, this is to be expected; we haven't received a call in a while. From another perspective, it was highly coincidental that we got the call just after she left.

On a side note, it's interesting to note that in the real estate agent's family, her husband seems to have the ability to pray. When her son-in-law faced a health emergency (his heart stopped beating), her daughter called and asked for "dad" to get on the phone immediately, so he could pray for his son-in-law. Interesting.

Perhaps this morning, I will pray, too, for our these people today to be interested in our home. Her husband can use the help!

Dreams about career, part 2

I had two dreams related to career.


  1. Printout. In this first dream, there was a computer printout, not unlike the ones you get from those multiple choice tests taken in the high school guidance counselor's office. The problem is that there were just a ton of jobs.

    In my dreamy/conscious state, I was trying to come up with a way to transfer the dream printout to my real-world computer to look at. The career choices were things like marketing for music performances and things of that sort. I think money manager was another.

    So, I interpret this in two ways. One is that I'm glad I was able to concentrate on something and come up with a relevant dream. The other is that I need to be more specific about what I concentrate on. Perhaps the dream was also telling me that I'm approaching this like a high school student that has no idea - which is not the case...


  2. Former coworker. Interestingly, I had another dream that related to a former job and home. I had left a company (three jobs ago), and I was taking off just as I had now. However, instead of offices, there were bedrooms at the company. My former coworker (engineering VP) was taking over my bedroom but did not realize that all the furniture was my own, not the building's. When he thought to help me move out my stuff, he took out a small little dresser (that I didn't even recognize). He left the bed, nightstand, dresser, TV stand - everything. The bedroom furniture was identical to our current bedroom furniture. At first he didn't believe it, but then I showed him the label on the mattress we bought showing him that this was far more expensive of a mattress than what the building would have purchased. He then believed it.

    Also, as my last assignment there, I was supposed to evaluate a number of different business ideas. In addition to evaluating them analytically, I also somehow tapped into my subconscious to "feel" whether these were right. (I'm not sure how I did this...) I did share this with him, and some how he was "in sync." Now, this particular person is one of the most logical and analytical people I know. Maybe this was a sign that everyone inherently "believes."



Again, perhaps two important messages. The first is not to look "tabula rasa" at career choices. The second is that raising the awareness of the subconscious might be an important part of the choice.

Broke fast on day 7

OK, I finally got sick of this fast mentally. It wasn't the hunger per se, but it was the overall "sick" feeling. I understand that breaking the fast should only be done in a "stable" state, but I was tired of just not being able to do anything. It's one thing to lie around and do nothing because you want to. It's another thing to lie around because you're feeling "sick" -- and it's self-imposed!

I kept it light, eating about 500 calories the whole day. I also waxed the car, and did a little bit of light training on the elliptical trainer. I felt a ton better, that's for sure...

Wednesday, June 16, 2004

Dreams related to selling our house?

Last night, my wife asked me to think about guidance in selling our house before going to bed. A few things might be related:


  • Started breaking out in a rash (so typical of my "healing crisis" on my back. Somehow in my awake/sleepy state, I had dreamed that each bump corresponded to some previous stress point about selling the house. The context of this was a "memory" that I had mapped each stress point to each part about selling our house. When I woke up this morning, I could see remnants of a prior skin "eruption."

  • Dreamed about a very disorganized yard work project. The context was that there was a mysterious neighbor (not unlike the one in Home Improvement) - nice guy who you don't know much about. He hires my "dad" - an Archie Bunker type - that just lost his job. The neighbor hires my "dad" out of sympathy and also because he knows nothing about manual "work," but my "dad" is not good at organizng lots of labor. He tells the neighbor that he was resigning as the foreman of the project, and even though the job isn't going well, the neighbor tells my "dad" that he doesn't want him to leave because he knows nothing about "work". I end up learning through a conversation while cleaning up the worksite for the day that the neighbor works with computers for a living.

  • Dreamed about a set of thing happening at "work." The details are fuzzy now, but I hire someone to work on something for my personal business that also works for my company, and my projects keep getting deprioritized because of the pressures of work. I also have an example where one low priority project that I want someone else to do surprisingly gets done because another higher priority project needed the same thing (it had to do with inspecting jumper cables for a car.)



Here's what I think these dreams were telling me:


  • I am clearly stressed about selling the house. No surprise. What is a bit more surprising is that I think I saw it coming.

  • Hiring a friend who isn't qualified to deal with the task at hand isn't the right move. I think our current real estate agent was great in her day, but now that she isn't active has missed many of the more modern "tricks of the trade."

  • There's a conflict on who to hire next. I have to balance between the agent's other priorities (i.e., other listings going on that divert the agent's attention) and synergies (i.e., other listings going on that may help drive traffic to our hosue).


There wasn't much new here, but I'll need to reflect a bit more.

Tuesday, June 15, 2004

Fasting, day 6

Senna Tea


I woke up in the middle of the night about 12 hours after having the senna tea. That stuff works - perhaps too well. I felt kind of sick and dizzy, but my bowel did move. In fact, it moved the first time, and then I felt so dizzy that I wiped, lied down on the floor of the bathroom to relax, and then got back on the toilet to let it move again. Brutal.

The resulting feces smelled very odd. It must be the toxic build up. It was also very dark in color.



Higher Sugar


Today, my blood sugar was much higher. It hasn't been below 110 all day. That fact was very discouraging, and I'm wondering if it was somehow related either to the tea or to the loosening of stools in my bowels.




Done yet?


I'm ready to be off this fast now. It's not even being hungry; it's the lame ketosis taste in my mouth, the itchy rashes, and now the trauma with bowel movements. Today, I "cheated" a little bit. My wife bought pizza for my daughters and their friend, so I ate two of the hot peppers that came with the pizza, and I cut off a little corner of a slice of pizza to nibble...

Dreams related to career?

I remembered two of my dreams last night:


  • Services. In one dream, I was telling some more junior employees (perhaps engineers?) that I had negotiated a better deal with a travel agency by positioning our company as a services company rather than a product company. The logic I'd presented is that services companies can get customers to lock into the price/value at a fixed rate and then bring up lower cost talent to provide that value.

  • Documents. In the other dream I remember, I had photocopied a large stack of documents, one of which was a double-sided document. Unfortunately, I neglected to copy the double-sided document double-sided, and I'd already distributed the packets. I was debating on what to do. I had thought about sending an e-mail with the softcopy of the documents. For some reason, I thought of waiting to hear a complaint because I doubted that anyone would really look at the packet in enough detail to worry about it. It's a bit unlike me not to be proactive about this sort of thing, so I am curious why I had this dream.



In any case, I am wondering if this is my subconscious telling me to go into something services related with some leverage, and something that avoids a lot of busywork and paperwork...

Monday, June 14, 2004

Fasting, day 5

I don't have many new insights to write today, as I spent most of the day sleeping.

I am in Day 5 of the fast, and I'm ready for it to be done. This morning, I woke up very itchy, and I had broken out in a lot of hives. It turns out that the fasting Web sites refer to this as a healing crisis. In day 3-4 of a water fast, the liver and fat cells release toxins previously trapped. The body tries to expel some of those toxins through the skin resulting in rashes. Nice. I also read about flu like symptoms associated with healing crisis. This morning, I was glad that I never got those flu-like systems.

By late morning, I felt like I had the flu, amd thus the reason I stayed in bed most of the day. This is definitely not something I would try while employed. Even tonight, I had to take another shower because of hives. I hope that tomorrow will be the last day of healing crisis. The issue is that you always want to break a fast in a period of stability, not during a healing crisis. (Reference)

I also read on the fasting Web sites while doing the research on the rash that the toxins are also released in the colon. One issue is that once the fast is over, the colon will rerelease all of those toxins into the body. This is why the hard core fasters take enemas while they are fasting. I'm not sure I'm ready to put liquid up my butt, and I'm also not sure how "natural" this really is. I fear that flushing the colon with water might upset the ecosystem and remove protective bacteria or vital minerals along with the toxins. As such, I'm trying an alternate route. My wife went to GNC today and bought me some senna tea. We'll see if that works...




Zero carbs

I read something very interesting today. It was an article about how the lack of redundancy in glucose metabolism (just insulin) is an indicator that our bodies weren't meant to live off carbohydrates. Here's an excerpt from that article:


We only have one hormone that lowers sugar, and that's insulin. Its primary use was never to lower sugar. We've got a bunch of hormones that raise sugar, cortisone being one and growth hormone another, and epinephrine, and glucagon. Our primary evolutionary problem was to raise blood sugar to give your brain enough and your nerves enough and primarily red blood cells, which require glucose. So from an evolutionary sense if something is important we have redundant mechanisms. The fact that we only have one hormone that lowers sugar tells us that it was never something important in the past.


The author proposes that the purpose of insulin is to store nutrients for the body and to regulate other hormones, not to lower blood sugar. The greatest stress on the system is a high carbohydrate meal.

Interesting...

Sunday, June 13, 2004

Fasting, day 4

I'm now on the fourth day of an extended fast that I started on Thursday. Remarkably, my stomach was growling only a little bit. The biggest problem is that I'm just very lightheaded right now, as I'm adjusting to sustained lower blood sugars.

Blood sugar levels for "normal" people range betweeen 60-100. Typically, my blood sugars range from about 110-160, with the highest blood sugars being in the morning. Today is the first day that I've been below 100 all day so far. I woke up the morning at 91, ad I was psyched!

My intent is to stay on this fast for the next 3 days to make for a full week of fasting. I'll then try to stay on a reduced calorie diet as long as possible so that I can get "acclimated" to a lower blood sugar level. This is not unlike fatigue and lightheadedness I felt when I first went on Glucophage (metformin) last Fall. (I stopped taking Glucophage in February...)

I am no longer concerned about losing weight. The dietician I saw at Overlake Diabetes Center originally discouraged me from diets that would cause weight loss, but I found it very easy to gain the weight again. So, I'm just going to let my weight fall if necessary to get my brain used to these lower blood sugars. My current theory is that much like body weight, the metabolism also wants to adjust to "set points" where comfortable blood sugar levels are maintained. I think in my case, this "set point" is too high. My body pretty much wants to have a morning blood sugar level around 150-160 no matter how "good" or "bad" I was about my diet and exercise regimen the day before. I am hoping that by getting used to being below 100, my body might begin to calibrate itself at a lower level... Wouldn't that be nice?

This hope of mine is also based on an interesting result that I saw in an article about sleep apnea and insulin resistance. It has been shown that sleep apnea and insulin resistance are strongly correlated. Also, prelimary experiments have shown that treating sleep apnea also improves insulin sensitivity. However, this improvement in insulin sensitivity does not seem to result in improved blood glucose control. These results would be consistent with my "set point" theory. In other words, even improving one variable (obstructive sleep apnea, diet, or even exercise) is not enough to lower the "set point" by itself because those things don't get the brain used to surviving over an extended period of time at lower blood sugar levels.

Hopefully, this fasting stratgy works. If it doesn't this will be quite a bit of "suffering" for nothing. It has been difficult for me to watch the other members of my family eating while I sit here and starve. While I'm somewhat used to everyone getting to eat things I like (e.g., pizza, pasta, burgers, etc.), eating nothing is just much harder. What I do for science!

Saturday, June 12, 2004

My wife's optimism on selling our house...

Recall my entry (point 3 in a June 10th blog) on selling our house once our neighbor's house went on the market.

Update

Yesterday, a real estate agent brought a couple brought over to show our neighbor's house, and that couple was interested in seeing ours. This could be an interesting dynamic. The only issue is that our neighbor has listed their property for $300,000 more than ours, and I'm not sure whether this dynamic will help or hurt us...

Today, we spent the day away from the house, and no one came to see it.




Other prediction

Now that I'm documenting other predictions, I'll also note here that my wife had predicted that the house will sell when we're "ready." At the time, she defined that readiness as securing a spot for our older daughter in the new elementary school that is due to open at the bottom of our hill for the next school year. Personally, I'm not sure that this is relevant, but that was a prediction she had made.

Yesterday, she told me that she received information that the cards confirming eligibility for the new school were going to be sent in late July. Personally, I think that just getting an apartment or townhome here in the area will be a better way to secure the eligibility than simply hoping our house won't sell until then.

We haven't started doing this research on where to live next in earnest. Perhaps this is the time...

My dad's story. Karma?

Today, I got an e-mail from my dad. Like my mom, he was very supportive of my decision to take some time off. That said, his e-mail made me think even further about life.

What's interesting about my dad is that he has had a set of phenomenal successes in his career, having two major successes in the public markets. Since 1992, he has relentlessly sought after another "big score." In that time, he has also experienced a number of health issues.

I reflect on this now, and I wonder if my dad really did leave me with a set of lessons. Like me, he is seeking alternative treatments to his health issues that include meditation and diet. The difference is that he is also using supplements (such as aspirin and fish oil) that he believes affect proper hormone balance at a biochemical level. So far, he has been regaining his health and given the extreme state in which he started this regimen several years ago, I must admit that I am impressed.

Unlike me, he has not relaxed his pursuit of business success, and I think this is a point of consternation. This example shows me the alternative path - one that I do not want to be on. In his case, he had plenty of financial resources to pursue other endeavors and redefine success. However, in this time, I think he realized that he really could not enjoy retirement and instead insists on continuing to move forward in business dealings. My question is whether he would really be able to be satisfied with another "big score," or would that simply make him want another? I look at this example and realize even further that happiness has to come from what is "in here," not what is "out there."

Kinesiology, Day 2 - demonstrating that it's just beating probabilities

Day 2 of Kinesiology work only pointed me to the fact that, like other psi phenomena, it's really about beating probabilities than relying on this technique for definitive answers.

The analogy brought up in The Conscious Universe is that even the most gifted baseball players can only successfully get a hit 1/3 of the time. So, even those most gifted in tapping psi cannot be expected to do it well all the time. It's about doing better than the "averages."

As such, it looks like any single experiment isn't going to be enough to really be convincing. After my first test of kinesiology on Wednesday, my wife and I tried to use kinesiology last night to guess test results for the Enneagram test for a friend and his wife.

He had already given me the information that he had a three-way tie for top score. Through our kinesiology tests, we concluded that he must have scored highest in type 1, 3, and 9 and that she scored highest in type 4. The basic question design was a repetitive set of questions for each type. "Ray scored highest in Enneagram Type 1," "Ray scored highest in Enneagram Type 2," etc.

After rereading the type 4 description, both my wife and I concluded that our results were wrong for her. Given that she had a 17 year relationship with her high school boyfriend, my intellectual guess would have been she was a type 6 (which she was...) On the one hand, we shouldn't feel bad as we had an 88.9% chance of getting the wrong answer. On the other hand, had we used our logic and intuition, we would have gotten it right.

In his case, I really didn't know what we was. In this case we knew that there were 3 choices out of 9, and we got two of them right. Our kinesiology results were 1,3,9, and his actual test results were 1,3,6.

Given that we knew he had a three-way tie for top answer, I am modelling the probabilities in a scenario similar to a keno-type card where there are nine numbers, and you can circle three of them. I don't remember my probability college courses, but I think it works like this...

There would be N choices involving 1 where N was:

7 + 6 + 5 + 4 + 3 + 2 + 1

1,2,3 - 1,2,4 - 1,2,5 ... 1,3,4 - 1,3,5 ... 1,4,5 - 1,4,6 ... 1,8,9

Then, for N choices involving 2, N would be:

6 + 5 + 4 + 3 + 2 + 1

2,3,4 - 2,3,5 ... 2,4,5 - 2,4,6 ... 2,8,9

This would proceed as follows for all numbers with the last being 7. (All combinations involving 8 and 9 were already covered in the previous sequences...)

3: 5 + 4 + 3 + 2 + 1
4: 4 + 3 + 2 + 1
5: 3 + 2 + 1
6: 2 + 1
7: 1

Or, more simply 7*1 + 6*2 + 5*3 + 4*4 + 3*5 + 2*6 + 1*7 = 84 total possible combinations of three.

Then, there seem to be 1 + 6 + 6 + 6 = 19 combinations involving 2 right answers:

Correct answer = 1,3,6
Six wrong answers each for 1,3; 3,6; and 1,6

1,3,2 - 1,3,4 - 1,3,5 - 1,3,7 - 1,3,8 - 1,3,9
2,3,6 - 4,3,6 - 5,3,6 - 7,3,6 - 8,3,6 - 9,3,6
1,2,6 - 1,4,6 - 1,5,6 - 1,7,6 - 1,8,6 - 1,9,6

So, our chance of guessing all two out of three numbers correctly was 19/84 = 22.6%.

Of course, one instance is not enough to demonstrate that we defied probability... Personally, what this shows me is that while kinesiology can produce interesting results at an intellectual level, laypeople such as me and Marsha cannot use this technique for decision making.

Friday, June 11, 2004

Note to self - Institute of Noetic Sciences

I heard about a group called The Institute for Noetic Sciences. I'm just logging this for future reference... I don't have a desire to join a New Age group at this time, but I also recognize the value of not reinventing the wheel.

Random thoughts on the emotional roller coaster...

Yesterday, I was on a down of an emotional roller coaster. Perhaps I was losing confidence that I would indeed arrive upon an answer for myself.

I feel trapped between the conservative world of Bellevue and the "New Age" groups that have little credibility in "mainstream" society. That said, I remain thankful that both my wife and some of my close friends remain supportive.

While I've found that there are some that just miss the point, my wife gave me the good advice to take a different attitude - not frustration, but more of curiosity. If anything, explaining what is going on helps to separate those who are in "sync" with those who are not.

Summary of unemployment - Week 1

I may have written this elsewhere. One of my former coworkers traveled the glove for several years immediately prior to joining the company. At my going away party, he gave me two pieces of sage advice:


  • "Unemployment is underrated."

  • "Unemployment is not a crime."



I'd say the biggest accomplishments this week were:



I have also started an extended fast. I'm on Day 2 right now, having started on 6/10/2004. We'll see how this pans out.




Overall, I've been taking the week pretty slowly.

  • Monday - Sent e-mails to people explaining my house and job situation.

  • Tuesday - Saw movie called What the Bleep Do We Know?. Ate dinner at Floyd's Place Beer & BBQ.

  • Wednesday - Went to Mariner's Game against the Astros. We lost.

  • Thursday - Saw my therapist.

  • Friday - Finished updating the karaoke database to reflect the new CD+G's we bought a while ago.
  • .

That's it... I've been spending a lot of time thinking as well.

Two logical reasons why I should stop this nonsense now...

Yesterday, a friend e-mailed me two "logical" points which I will note here.


  • Get productive. The basic line of logic goes that "if you want to get something done, give it to a busy person." I think the point he was trying to make is that I'd do better in accomplishing my goals if I were accomplishing more in other areas in life. His plea was for me to "go get a job."

  • Job and spiritual growth are orthogonal. He was listening to the Dalai Lama's Meaning of Life on his iPod. Even the Dalai Lama has stated in this piece that the job has nothing to do with the pursuit of enlightenment.



I use the term "logical" because while they may be difficult to refute, I somehow don't think they apply to me.

Thursday, June 10, 2004

Left brained thinking and logistics of life...

While I am growing my understanding day by day, that my growth will happen "in here" not "out there," I continue to struggle with what I've termed the "logistics of life."


  1. Timing. My feeling is everyone wants to see an "end date" to my growth process.

    My friend yesterday summarized what I'm doing now as taking a "sabbatical" and then asked what I'm going to do after that. I don't know. I'm wondering if he missed the point.

    Moreover, my reaction today is that I'm feeling some pressure to provide others in my life answers on a timeline. While I know that this must happen, I'm not sure yet how or when I'll be done. The best expectation I can set at this point is that it'll be year to make a big move. That way, I don't have to inject further instability in the middle of my older daughter's school year next year.


  2. Next dwelling

    At this point in time, my wife and I tentatively agreed that we would not live in my brother-in-law's empty condo because I didn't want to insert another pair of eyes waiting for me to decide what to do. If six months extends to a year, or a year extends to more, the last thing I want is the time pressure to find myself. That will be just the surest path for me to just to plug back into the Matrix and live in the world constructed for us by the machines. Again, my wife was very supportive.


  3. Our house still hasn't sold...

    Outside of wher we move to next, there is still the issue of selling our house. Our real estate agent called us again today to let us know that she still has seen no activity and wonders why our house has not yet sold. Personally, I believe that it is because we have not yet committed to our path. Because of my uncertainty about what I want to do next, providence is not knocking on our door - that one buyer has not yet been drawn to this situation.

    Prior to our conversation, I think her belief is that our house would sell when the time was right, and she thought that "right time" would be when our neighbors across the street have their house on the market. Perhaps she is right. That said, I still want to start moving down the path. I feel very much "in limbo" right now and very distracted by my circumstance.


  4. Stuff not sold yet.

    At this point, I'm now 4 days into "unemployment," and I haven't started selling my extra things. This is something that I'll need to get more serious about, as we have so much "stuff" that we have accumulated over the years. So much of this stuff is just plain "noise" in my life anyway.






Footnote: missing the point


She has also advised me (very wisely) to minimize what I tell certain people about what is going on in my mind. People aren't ready, and more importantly, I am not ready to communicate it yet.

I think in some way, the explanation to what I'm doing should already be within those who I'm trying to communicate with. If Jung was right that we are all born with an innate understanding provided to us by the collective unconscious, there must be an archetype that represents the spiritual struggle. The Matrix, outside of being a great action film, basically tells a story about someone who realizes that the society he is living in isn't quite what humanity is all about and how he "unplugs" from it. My lack of a liberal arts education comes to bite me here, and I'm making a note that I should study this part in greater detail. In any case, figuring out a way to tell my story in a form compatible with our preprogrammed archetypes may help the idea resonate better within people's heads.


Kinesiology, Day 1

Today was the first day that I tried to reproduce Kinesiology experiments. These are not taken in lab book format. I need to get better about documenting my observations.

Here's what I gathered today:


  • Tests with my wife

    • "Correct" responses for both of us with very strong forces - Ghandi, Hitler, Stalin as a control

    • Got a "negative" response in testing my wife's response to the mention of our neighbor that left us an angry voice mail. A similar test on me did not create this negative response. We later tested on each other that a statement that I am more tolerant of others than my wife, and both of us tested "positive" to that.

    • We then tested "levels of consciousness" on each other. Here I believe we were not doing the tests correctly in trying to calibrate to a number. In fact, both my wife tested "positive" to statements of my consciousness levels being higher than 400 all the way up to 1,000.

    • We tested whether food was "good" for me. I got negative responses on tea, bacon, macadamia nuts, and a carbonated water drink sweetened with artificial sweeteners. In hindsight, the test questions may have been too vague


  • Tests with my 6 year old daughter

    • Much to my surprise, she tested "correctly" for the very strong forces - Ghandi, Hitler, Mother Teresa, Stalin, etc.

    • Did not get a "negative" response to our neighbor

    • Also scored my level of consciousness higher than my wife's but both very high. My wife was at 500; I was at 600.

    • Also did a bit of food testing; the drink with artificial sweetener was clearly a negative.


  • Tests with my friend before baseball game.
    Overall, he did not have discernible "negative" responses even in the controls. I am wondering if this is a problem with my testing.

  • Tests with my friend's wife before baseball game.

    • Overall, her issue was that she had inconsistent results on the control statements. In about half the instances, she would go weak on the statement "I may ask this question." Results were sporadic.

    • She tested negative on "xxxx is a fine surgeon" and "yyyy is a fine doctor" for two people my friend knows well knows well.

    • She tested positive on "xxxx is an honest person" and "yyyy is an honest person" for two Microsoft figures that I had mentioned.

    • We tried the DVD experiment. She tested positive on Apollo 13 and Days of Thunder. She tested negative on a movie called The Insider. Not sure why. She liked Apollo 13 and The Insider. She never saw Days of Thunder. I wonder through this experiment whether she voted positive for Apollo 13 and Days of Thunder because they are uplifting movies...

    • She calibrated her husbands level of consciousness above 300 and mine above 400. Is this accurate




I want to come up with better question designs in two areas to study this:

  • Better question designs about food and fasting and how they affect my diabetes

  • A proof point to satisfy my curiosity on my friends. I have pointed them to Enneagram testing, and I want to design tests to infer their Enneagram types.



Also, I need to document some questions regarding how to "calibrate" levels of truth quantitatively. Are we doing this correctly? I'll need to come up with a more comprehensive list of questions.

My wife and I also discussed today a theory that our older daughter's level of consciousness is higher than both of our own.

Wednesday, June 09, 2004

Power versus Force, day 1

Today, was a pretty major day for me in the understanding of Power versus Force, as I have been reading the Hawkins book. I am now starting to view the world through a different set of eyes in the context of evaluating the innate advantages in using Power over Force. A couple of examples:


  1. Fast food - using power to address obesity epidemic

    I got into a discussion with my friend's wife about Super Size Me. I haven't seen the film yet, but they had. She asked me a question about who should be responsible for solving the obesity problem in America. I think the reality here is that the long term answer is to use the "power" within the consumers to say "no". Actions by the government and regulatory agencies constitute "force." For every rule that a regulatory agency seeks to enforce, there will be efforts by the industry to bypass it as long as consumers want to buy.

    While she brought up the benefits of regulation in the tobacco industry for curtailing prevalent advertising, I would still argue that the biggest impact has been both the education and social etiquette that have compelled people to tap their inner power to stop. After all, it is not the lack of advertising that is getting existing smokers to want to quit.


  2. The 2004 Seattle Mariners - all force, no power

    We were discussing this at a baseball game. The Mariners played the Astros and lost 3-0. The team hasn't scored a run in 21 consecutive innings of play. Just three short years after their 2001 season, where they won a record 116 games, this team is at the bottom of baseball. Looking at the middle of the lineup, there is a lot of anger and aggression right now in players like Bret Boone and Edgar Martinez. After the 8th inning, Edgar Martinez leaned against the dugout railing with his head down looking dejected for the rest of the game. After striking out in the 9th inning, Bret Boone threw his helmet on the ground on his way back to the dugout.

    I think watching these games actually lowers consciousness levels. People watch athletic events out of awe and respect for talent, but watching people perform below their abilities is uninspiring. Right now, I am feeling a lot of "force." Bob Melvin getting himself ejected from the game by arguing a close "foul" call taking away a potential home run from Rich Aurilia is good entertainment for frustrated fans, but it is not a show of "power."

    In the 2001 regular season, the Mariners were operating with "power" and were part of baseball history with 116 regular season wins. There were no "big boppers" on the team - just a set of guys who all played at the tops of their games that year. I think their resultant breakdown in the 2001 playoffs was likely the result of "force" that came about to compensate for a misguided set of motivations around personal goal fulfillment and a fear of failure.

    While many have suggested the obvious solution of using the rest of the 2004 season to develop younger players, I do think this would be an answer that could leverage the power of young players still excited about the game and playing because they want to rather than playing and fighting demons with force.




At a personal level, I know that I must use my own internal "power" on my quest for fasting. The trick for me has been to start. There is no better time than the present. Let me tap my power.

Tuesday, June 08, 2004

A Gap That I Can Fill - Communicating with logical thinkers

This is a blog entry I stared on 6/8 and never quite finished. The thoughts are somewhat incomplete, but the key point here is that I think a part of my mission is to expand the thinking of those like me to include the thinking that is well known to the "new age" thinkers

I am beginning to have some difficulty embracing some of the materials that I am being drawn to read. I don't necessarily have a problem with the content but rather the way it is presented. Books that I want to read about both spirituality and alternative medicine are generally not presented with clear, cogent arguments that compel highly logical thinkers. They also don't help the logiclaly minded reader to navigate through any challenges in the material.

Probably the best written book that I have read about spirituality is Brian Weiss' Many Lives Many Masters. In this book, the author does pause to consider other logical arguments and explains his own self-doubt and how he overcame it.

The problem with many books written about both alternative medicine and spirituality is that somehow the prose and the logic fall short. I think I can help spread the message in a way people like me can embrace it.

"Mr. Personality" - type

I was called by one former employee "Mr. Personality Type." I think that's a funny name, but I believe that personality assessment tools are extremely useful both in career and life.

Somehow, my MIT education allowed me to escape taking any social sciences courses. I never took psychology, anthropology, or sociology, and I think I might have enjoyed these. So far, I've gotten three different levels of exposure to personality type assessments.


  1. MBTI and leadership styles.

    My first exposure to personality types came at a management offsite I attended three jobs ago. The group that ran the offsite was called HRMG led by Lad Burgin. Prior to the offsite meeting, we were asked to take a number of tests, which included a leadership styles test that involved surveying both the management team and direct reports. There was also a Myers-Briggs Type Indicator test. What was interesting in this workshop is that just by looking at the test scores, Lad was able to profile pretty well what was going on in the company from a leadership and decision-making standpoint.

    Personally, I found these tools to be extremely helpful, and I can think of several examples where I used these learnings in the real world. For example, about a year after attending this offsite, I had hired a very capable and talented marketing communications director. The problem was that he was a very introverted thinker and didn't do well in group brainstorming sessions. With a strongly "ENT" (extraverted/intuitive/thinker) senior leadership team, he was frequently overwhelmed and unable to "create." However, awareness of what was going on helped me lead him to a solution where he ultimately would hold very short and frequent feedback sessions, go offline to think, and reemerge with terrific stuff. I'd argue that the best marketing communications materials came out of the company at that time from this person.


  2. OAD Survey

    At my last job, I ran into another tool that was introduced to me by a recruiter (the one that I referred to in another blog). She introduced me to a test called the OAD Survey. This test involved marking words on the sheet that resonated to the test participant. Based on the words selected, a pretty detailed report would emerge that was remarkably accurate. I did it not only on myself but on two people that worked for me. Unfortunately, with this test, we ultimately decided not to pursue hiring the position that I was using this recruiter for, and thus never got to see any real-world benefits from applying the OAD results.


  3. The Enneagram

    The Enneagram test was actually introduced to me by a therapist that I have been seeing. The book he asked me to read is called The Wisdom of the Enneagram, and it does quite a good job not only at profiling but of making you aware of your needs, fears, and desires.

    One area that particularly fascinated me was the stunning accuracy for which the Web site characterized relationships. I am a "9," and my wife is a "6." I have a printout from this Web site that so accurately characterized many of the issues we had in our marriage that ultimately led us into marriage counseling. Perhaps had we been more aware of these tools going into the relationship, we might have avoided some issues down the road.





I find this stuff very fascinating. As I am thinking about what I want to do for the next few months, I think that achieving a better mind/body balance to help my diabetes is at pr near the top of the list. I think the awareness created by studying these personality types might be part of the answer.

I have been pondering doing some greater study and research into pscyhology at this point perhaps through a Ph.D. program or even by working with people who do this kind of work.

I am thinking right now about calling Lad Burgin to see if he has ideas of how I might get started in the field. I am thinking that a corporate consulting "day job" might be a perfect complement to a private practice that included more spiritual counseling as well.

What's important to me at this point is to be very readily accepted by the people I'd like to help (which are other people like me...), and I think the right kind of credentials are required to do that. I've mentioned Dick Bernstein before, and what motivates me about his story is that at age 45, he went back to get an M.D. just so that the medical community would listen to his discoveries about diabetes management.

As a side note, I checked the Gourman rankings of the top psychology Ph.D. programs. I'm not sure why, but somehow Yale "feels" like a place that I might want to study. For some reason even in my past job, I kept getting drawn into New London, CT (the headquarters of Pfizer's Global Research & Development organization). I took three trips out there, and it does look like they'll end up buying my former company's products and services. Also, I told my wife about a person I ran into at a birthday party of a classmate of my younger daughter's. She kind of looked like a younger version of Martha Stewart, but somehow she had a familiar look about her. While we never would have known each other, it turns out she was from Fairfield, CT.

Picking careers and educational options is pulling the cart a bit before the horse at this point. However, this is where my mind is taking me right now...